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I wish I had been on a date with this Cat. I would have stroked his whiskers. I would have looked deeply into his eyes. This cat speaks Russian. If nothing else, foreign languages are hot.
But I was not on a date with this cat. I was on a date with a boy I met at the circle K. This should have been my first clue? I don't beleive it- quality relationships can begin at the circle K. There were good signs to begin with- he was cute, scruffy, had a big truck and an old dog named Bo in the truck. He spoke an exotic language- hillbilly.





I wish I had been on a date with this dog. There would have been sparks in my eyes. He could have told me all about being a robot. And just feast your eyes on that row of teeth. But i was not on a date with this dog. I was on a date with the boy I met at the circle K. Boys: When dating girls: Don't interrupt them whenever they speak. Don't complain constantly about life. Do ask them questions about themselves. Don't apologize constantly for your behaviour. Don't fly into a rage when driving them home. Don't tell them about all your run-ins with the cops. Don't chew caffeine gum. This dog wouldn't do these things, and he is a robot. Why would you? If you feel compelled to do all these things, don't go on dates yet. You are not ready. You are not looking for a girlfriend. You are looking for a dishrag.

Speaking of dishrags, I've been meaning to bring this up in the headline news.





Barbara Bush. Evil? Or deserving of my compassion?






















This man, David Icke, says that old Babs is not actually a human, but a shapeshifting alien reptile from the lower fourth dimension. His books have all kinds of graphs and diagrams. It is truly amazing that he is still alive, having blown the lid off this conspiracy. Look how sweaty he is. That's how you know it's working. He explains :




















However, if indeed I accept it as my job to develope love and compassion for humanity as a necessary aspect of the evolution of my spirit, then I might as well develope love and compassion for shapeshifting alien reptiles from the lower fourth dimension as well, so this argument does not let me Off the hook.

Consciousness expert Angel Bootstrap (http://thankyouforallyourgeneroussilence.blogspot.com) explains: Barbarah Bush is perfect. She is a child of creation. She is doing in her life on this earth exactly what she was meant to do, so yes, love her. On the other hand, in this incarnation she is evil and incapable of healing or doing good, therefore, she should die as soon as possible so that her soul may move on, and become an earthworm, or a puppy that licks your face and says, 'I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!' so: Do not waste any of your time developing love for Barbarah Bush.
Thanks Angel. What about my date? Maybe he was a shapeshifting alien reptile from the lower fourth dimension sent by Barbarah Bush to spy on my- I sure foiled her plans, though. I didn't say a Goddamn thing on that date! I just chainsmoked untill it was all over......